This week’s Photojojo is for kids. If you know any kids, send it their way.
If you don’t know any kids, you’re out of luck for today. Or you can pretend to be 8 years old and see if that works for you. Either way, no grownups allowed.
This newsletter is just for you. If you catch any grownups reading it, we give you permission to make them sit in the corner until theyâ€™ve learned their lesson.
Just because youâ€™re shorter than adults doesnâ€™t mean you canâ€™t be just as good a photographer as them. In fact, being kid-sized lets you get shots they never could.
Prepare to discover your secret photographic superpowers, small one.
Photo credit: JPhilipson
Your Superpowers and You
OK, what do Batman and Wonder Woman and Gary the Astounding Mole-Boy all have in common? Their secret identities, that’s what. And you have one of those, too.
Why? Because grownups foolishly assume that since you’re a kid, you’re not good at “grownup” stuff. Bah. That’s ridiculous. For one thing, you’re about to become a better photographer than they could possibly imagine.
First things first, you’ll need a camera. See if you can borrow one from your parents, or use your allowance to get a disposable one. It doesn’t have to be digital or fancy or autographed by Hannah Montana. It just has to work.
Okay, all set? Then let’s get cracking.
The Incredible Bug’s Eye View
Getting close to the ground makes for awesome pictures. Grownups wonâ€™t do this because theyâ€™re stuck up about getting their clothes dirty, but you know better: a little dirt ainâ€™t gonna kill ya.
Here’s what ya do:
Get down on the floor and take pictures from ground level. Get up close and take pictures of bugs and birds and whatever else you find down there. No poop, though. Gross.
Things look huge when photographed from way down low, so you can turn your snotty little sister into a towering ogre. Or turn the family dog into a gigantic monster. Or turn your horrible teacher into a… NOOOOOOO!!!!!
The Photographic Shrink-ray
We love freaking people out with these pictures. You can make it look like there’s a tiny person standing in the palm of your hand.
Here’s what ya do:
Step 1: Get two friends to help you out (or bully two of your siblings until they do what you say).
Step 2: Go outside. Have one friend go way off into the distance, and have the other one stay close by.
Step 3: Have the nearby friend hold their hand out flat, and ask them to move around until it looks like the faraway friend is standing on the palm of their hand. Then take the picture!
Ta-dah! You just shrunk somebody. You totally have superpowers.
Make Time Stand Still
If we told you how many grownups wish they had done this, or how envious your friends will be when you’re older, well, you just wouldn’t believe us.
Here’s what ya do:
Step 1: Carry a camera everywhere you go for a week.
Step 2: Take pictures of everything. Seriously, everything. Here’s what we mean:
- All of your friends.
- All of your teachers (even the horrible ones).
- Your classroom.
- Your house.
- Your pets.
- Your room.
- You know, everything.
Step 3: Print your pictures out and write the name of each person or place on the back of the photo. Write down your favorite thing about each person or thing, too.
Step 4: Now, this is the important part: keep the pictures somewhere they won’t get lost. Better yet, send them to your grandparents. You know how grandparents are, they never throw anything out. Then forget all about it for a while.
Step 5: Sometime in the far distant future (like, you know, high school) you can fish out your photo time capsule, look back, and remember all those people and places and things. It might sound lame now, but trust us, it’ll be great.
Onward, Young One!
Use your powers wisely, small superhero. And donâ€™t tell your parents about any of these tricks- itâ€™ll be a lot funnier when they canâ€™t figure out how you suddenly became such an awesome photographer. Heh heh heh.
Photo credit: rgusick